Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I am home alone, and, having completed my nightly Wii "workout" (which somehow partly consists of joggling my hips slightly while doing maddening math problems), and having let the dog out the correct number of times to prevent feces from appearing on my floor, I have decided to undo all my joggling/jiggling with some whiskey, and a list:


A quick caveat: I have recently started collecting comic books again. I have many fond boyhood memories of riding my mountain bike with friends, traversing miles and miles of rugged Pennsylvania terrain and economic blight to spend our $10 allowances in the comic book shop across from the steel mill downtown-- weird place for a comic shop, yeah? Except that I guess virtually everything was across from a steel mill, or an abandoned steel mill, or an empty lot where there once was an abandoned steel mill-- only to face the task of carrying our purchases without incident that same (suddenly terrible) distance home. I don't know why we didn't take backpacks. Were we stupid? We were stupid. There was about an inch of superfluous paper bag on your parcel available for gripping, and you typically curled this around your handlebar and held on as best you could, attempting to keep the comics as stable as possible while peddling home-- uphill! How did we not acknowledge the return trip was virtually all uphill?-- while taking as few risks as you were able. Because you don't bend comics. $10 doesn't grow on trees, and comics are AN INVESTMENT, as I like to tell people. If you hit a curb weird or got a little too ballsy coming down a steep hill and felt you were going to take a spill, you put your body between your comics and the road, and you tweezered the gravel out of your knees later.

I stopped collecting for a long time. Not sure why. Money I guess. And time. But since the Marvel re-launch I've been checking stuff out and dragging my old boxes out from storage and have compiled this painfully abbreviated and utterly anticlimactic list of RECOMMENDED COMIC BOOK/DRINK PAIRINGS:

X-Factor #1 (1986) / Miller Lite -- Because your X-Factor #1 is not worth as much as you vaguely hoped it might be-- and because it's also sort of bent somehow-- you need a beer that's plain and doesn't raise your expectations, yet still offers a bit of enjoyment if you can just get over the fact that your X-Factor #1 is somehow bent but whatever.

Amazing Spider-Man #66 (1963) / Alasia Moscato d'Asti -- Because this comic is in great shape, and while it's not like a key issue or anything, you're happy with the shape it's in. And Alasia is like champagne basically. For celebrating. Also, Mysterio seems like he would drink champagne to me, this is like a double-dipper.

Tales of Suspense #47 (1963) / Whiskey -- Because this comic is worth like a couple hundred bucks if somebody's dog hadn't chewed on it. Whatever.

END BLOG. I'm tired. And drunk!

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